He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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