Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
