So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
