If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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