everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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