I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
