Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
