ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
