Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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