I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
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