Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
