My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
