so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
