Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
