Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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