Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
