good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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