i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
