Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
