Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
