remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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