just survived the first fart of the relationship.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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