he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
