I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
