i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
