you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Randomize