His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i can't believe i had my finger in that
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Randomize
