she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
