Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
