they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
