If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
