singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
