I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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