Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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