Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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