he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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