i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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