this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Randomize
