I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Oh god it's open bar.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize