So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
