I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Randomize
