what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Randomize