apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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