so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
