I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize