You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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