i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
