The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Fuck me I smell like cheese
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
