So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize