the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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