Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
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