watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
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