I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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