Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
