i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize