Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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