Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
