Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
