we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
