I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
