you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
