I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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