I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
