I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize