Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
