I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
