Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Randomize
