hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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