He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
