the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize