Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
