What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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