she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Randomize
