Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
