Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
