I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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