There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Will you blow on my dice?
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
