The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
