She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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