Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Let the clothes fall where they may.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize