like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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