Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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