woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize