I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
