yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
