You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Randomize
