You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
