i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
