direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
