So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
