Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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