after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
So many bounce houses so little time
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
